Why did the Takeover Panel require Telia/Telenor to produce a statement which, in effect, said nothing? Current Account is all in favour of regulators making sure that takeover bids are conducted in a fair fashion, but last week's statement by Newtel - the Telia/Telenor joint entity - that it is not considering a higher bid for Esat but reserves its right to do so was an almighty waste of everybody's time.

The takeover code is mired in detail on how bids should be conducted, but last Tuesday's statement from Newtel, issued apparently at the behest of the panel, seems to have been based on weekend media comment largely regurgitating what had already been reported - that Newtel will probably have to increase its bid. Shock, horror! That hardly required an intervention of the panel.

And while on the subject of the Newtel bid for Esat, needless to say the sure winners in this affair are the army of advisers assembled by either side. The Newtel offer document tells us that HSBC, Wasserstein Perella and AIB Corporate Finance will trouser $9 million in fees for advising Newtel, fees that will presumably be hoisted even higher if the offer price is lifted.

And those fees apparently apply only to the investment bankers, and do not include the battery of lawyers in Dublin, London and New York, not to mention the peripherals such as public relations consultants. With Wall Street lawyers and PR personnel also involved, the fees that are eventually paid out will probably be a lot higher than the $9 million being picked up by the bankers.

One can reasonably assume that Esat's army of advisers, Chase Manhattan, CSFB - authors of that immaculately timed $75 a share research note on Esat - and Davy's, will be on similarly hefty fees. And of course, Esat Digifone - equally owned between hostile bidder and its target - will no doubt feel required to have its own independent advice.

Whatever the outcome of the Newtel/Esat bid, one thing seems certain. One or other of the warring parties will have to exit Esat Digifone. Relationships have now deteriorated to such a level that it is inconceivable that Esat and Newtel could ever coexist as shareholders in the mobile phone group.

No doubt, Digifone - where Dermot Desmond controls the balance of power with his 1 per cent stake - will require its own bunch of advisers to be sure that the mobile phone company's interests are looked after.

What a great time to be an investment banker!