LAURA SLATTERYlooks back at the week in business
Pay Day
Sometimes there are worse things in life than the abrupt loss of a prestige job. For Mark Hurd, chief executive of Hewlett-Packard (HP) until last week, there was the initial pain of resignation after he was accused of making dodgy expense claims to hide his relationship with a female employee, who made a sexual harassment complaint against him. But soon there was the comfort of an estimated $34.6 million exit package, a sum that would have been a lot lower had HP fired Hurd “on cause” rather than letting him quit. So it must have been quite a relief for Hurd that HP found that his behaviour had not violated its sexual harassment policy. The exit pay is not understood to include the estimated $20,000 in expenses that HP accused Hurd of falsifying.
Nama watch
It’s been a fortnight of frightening interims courtesy of Ireland’s biggest banks, AIB and Bank of Ireland, as well as Ulster Bank and National Irish Bank (NIB). The last two banks, belonging to parents of foreign jurisdiction, are not part of the National Asset Management Agency (Nama) loan transfer process, although where Nama-bound customers financed assets via a mix of Nama and non-Nama lenders, some contact between the non-Nama lender and the State loans agency is inevitable. Kevin Gallen (right), deputy chief executive of NIB, said this week it was too early to say whether this process, which theoretically could involve clashing verdicts on developers’ business plans, would be smooth, rough or somewhere in between.
63– number of "ghost estates" in Laois, according to estimates from the Department of the Environment.
"Whereas crises occur suddenly, they fade only gradually"– Bank of England governor Mervyn King is sick of the global economic malaise too.
STATUS UPDATE:
Pedal power: Bike sales are being driven by 35-45-year-old male car owners suffering "the noughties version of the mid-life crisis", according to retail researchers Mintel.
Roots trade: North Korea has offered to settle part of its debt to the Czech Republic by sending it a consignment of alleged aphrodisiac ginseng. The Czechs say they prefer zinc.
Name calling:BSkyB is taking action against internet telephony firm Skype over the use of the word "Sky" in its brand and bubble logo, which Sky says confuses consumers.
THE QUESTION
Could Steven Slater's impromptu resignation be the best job exit ever?
Everyone has those moments of temptation at work where the urge to declare you’re off is so strong you can practically hear the strains of R.E.S.P.E.C.T. as you sashay out the door. This week, social networkers were treated to 33 photographs of the facially elastic “Jenny” holding up white boards that cheerily informed colleagues that she had quit her job – oh, and that the boss was a Farmville-playing misogynist. TheChive.com, which posted the pics, later declared it was “a hoax”, to absolutely no one’s surprise.
Thankfully, a much better resignation had just taken place in real life. Steven Slater (38), an American air steward with Jet Blue, wasn’t too happy when a piece of self-loading freight (that’s a passenger) slammed an overhead locker down on his head, then reached for her bag on landing before the plane had come to a stop. Slater did what any reasonable man would do. He got on the intercom, announced his immediate departure, grabbed two beers from the trolley and activated the emergency inflatable slide. Now a hero to lip-biting service staff everywhere, Slater just has the small matter of “criminal mischief” charges to contend with before hitting the chat show circuit.
Frustrated employees (and TDs) seeking to recreate such drama should take note. To make any kind of impact, it is vital that you don’t have another job to go to. Secondly, while coolly dignified might be your preferred option, it’s best not to look too polished. Thirdly, for maximum effect it will help if, like Slater, you’ve been a long-suffering servant, not someone who’s been in the job for all of three minutes.
