Marketing directors are scrambling desperately to link everything from satnavs to nest boxes with romance

ON VALENTINE’S Day it’s not love that marketing directors feel, but wads of cash as they leverage the day to the best of their creative abilities to boost sales. No stone is left unturned as they desperately seek a link between their product and a dash of romance. But if you thought it was just florists, chocolate makers and restaurateurs cashing in, think again.

It took some creative thinking by the makers of TomTom satellite navigation systems when they dreamt up the idea of a direct mailer that declares: “Let the one you love take you home this Valentine’s Day.”

Inside, on a red card illustrated with love hearts, the pitch shamelessly continues: “For every TomTom satnav lovingly bought this Valentine’s Day, you can download the voice of your dreams completely free. Now that’s love!”

Taking advantage of the recent cold snap, Emo Oil will send you a free box of chocolates for your loved one if you order oil on Valentine’s Day.

Not to be outdone, the National Lottery will give away diamonds in its draws this Saturday.

If money is tight, for just €2.32 you can buy a pack of 50 pink heartshaped Post-It notes from Abbey Office Supplies in Raheny.

But if it’s a bit of music you’re after, the Bog of Allen Nature Centre in Rathangan, Co Kildare, suggests: “Why not give your loved one a singing bird for Valentine’s Day. Choose from 12 different garden birds with authentic songs.”

Alternatively, introduce your loved one to the joys of bird watching (the feathered type) with a gift from BirdWatch Ireland. “Celebrate Valentine’s Day with our nest box gift set,” the organisation suggests.

Rather appropriately, the nest boxes are said to be suitable for bluetits, and the package includes a keyring that plays a blackbird’s mating call when pressed.

In Belfast, if you’re looking for the perfect romantic setting this Saturday, apparently the zoo is the place to go. The Discover Ireland website informs us: “Enjoy a Valentine’s Day with a difference as the animals of Belfast Zoo celebrate the most romantic day of the year. Giraffes are protective and gibbons affectionate, but what animal qualities do you have? You can take our animal compatibility test and find your perfect partner.”

All this week, Aer Arann is advertising its “perfect Valentine’s gift” – an Aer Arann flight. The airline doesn’t do Paris, but it can take you to Blackpool, Cardiff or Inverness.

If you can’t get a restaurant booking this weekend, help is at hand from Bord Iascaigh Mhara. The agency’s idea of a romantic gift is Georgina Campbell’s seafood cookbook. “Woo your loved one with a sumptuous seafood meal prepared and served by you,” it advises. “Set the scene with succulent oysters served sashimi-style; spice it up with squid in a lime and chilli dressing, before slowing down the tempo with luscious monkfish in cream and cider sauce.”

If getting steamy in the kitchen doesn’t appeal, you can “cruise your way into your loved one’s good books” with Emerald Star and Gemini designer jewellery. Book a cruise from romantic Carrick-on-Shannon this week and you get a free heart pendant or pair of cufflinks.

Always searching out a new low in bad taste, Paddy Power’s promotion for Valentine’s Day is themed “Win her knickers”. Poker players on the bookie’s website this week have the opportunity to win a €150 lingerie voucher. “It’s antes-up, panties down,” the company enthuses, and winners are encouraged to submit digital photographs of the recipient of the underwear.

For florists, Valentine’s Day heralds a major headache as to how much they are prepared to pay to get noticed on Google.

With the AdWords programme, should they pay an estimated €6.27 per click to get a premier advertisement listing when web surfers type in “order flowers”, or should they settle for €3.20 per click for the keywords “Valentine’s Day flowers”. Some other keywords for florists to fret about: florist, florists, roses, gift, gifts, bouquet, send, deliver, delivery, delivered, order, same day.

Amid all the online clutter, perhaps a more effective investment might be a good old-fashioned personals ad in a newspaper.