Golf Masters managers approach their work with varying degrees of intensity. At one end of the spectrum there are the heavyweights, the managers whose devotion to number crunching makes Angus "Statto" Loughran look like a disinterested observer at the Grand National.
Even before one season finishes, these people are already planning next year's teams. They look for the talent emerging from qualifying school and the Challenge Tour. They will have already made a mental note that David Higgins will be back on our player list in 2001.
What is most impressive, or sad, is the way they track the fortunes of their usually big stable of teams. Computer spreadsheets are drawn up and, at all times, these managers know precisely how their charges are performing and what their transfer position is.
Just as the Royal and Ancient engraver was starting with T-I-G . . . when Tiger was playing the 17th at Saint Andrews, so the managers had the figure £200,000 entered in their spreadsheets. When Woods found the 18th fairway with his tee-shot the managers hovered their mice over the "recalculate" button and, before Woods had signed his card, the new weekly and overall totals were being digested.
We know all this because we have several managers to ring each week, usually successful ones. It always comes as a disappointment when you think you're going to brighten up someone's life with news of a fourball and dinner at Tulfarris only to hear: "Yeah, yeah, I know that. Do you have any idea if Roger Winchester gets into the Lancome Trophy in seven weeks time?"
At the other end of the spectrum are the likes of this week's winner, Andrew Gilmore from Clondalkin. Never played Golf Masters before. Looked across the room and saw someone smoking so he named his teams "Marlboro" and "Marlboro Lights" rather than AG 15, Tiger 7 or Eagles 93.
Never even considered a transfer. Doesn't know that the golf scores are on Aertel, page 202. Is so busy at work, that he hardly has time to read the paper. Certainly wasn't expecting our call. Has been to Tulfarris but not to play golf. Was pleased to hear from us. Didn't ask about the Lancome Trophy.
How did he do it? Back in February he paid half a million pounds for Seve Ballesteros (none of the anoraks did that) and the rest of his "Marlboro" budget on Mark McNulty, Kenny Perry, Tony Johnstone, Thomas Bjorn, Gary Murphy and a promising 24-year-old named Tiger Woods. The "Marlboro Lights" just had Keith Nolan instead of Des Smyth.
Neither team is in the top 5,000 overall but the expected victory for Woods (£200,000) and missed cut for Seve (£1,000) at St Andrews, plus Bjorn's tied-second finish (£150,000), McNulty's tied 11th (£52,222) and Johnstone's missed cut (£1,000) added up to a winning week 21 total of £404,222.
Canny Colin Rutherford brought Tiger Woods into "Glenmore Eagles 2" on the eve of the Open and they retain the overall lead. We're back in action on both sides of the Atlantic this week with the Dutch Open and the John Deere Classic.
