All in the Game: Nigerian striker unimpressed with culture at Arsenal

Leeds boss Big Sam has world of problems on his mind

Orban gives Gunners the thumbs down

Until last January Nigerian striker Gift Orban was playing second division football in Norway for Stabaek, “a club that you can’t even find on Google”, as KAA Gent scout Samuel Cardenas told The Athletic last month.

The Belgium side then signed him for €3.3m and he’s been making quite a name for himself ever since, scoring 19 goals in as many games in all competitions – including the fastest hat-trick in the history of European competition (three minutes and 25 seconds).

Now? You’ll find his name popping up in every transfer gossip column out there, the 20-year-old linked with a string of major clubs.

But in an interview with Belgium’s Sporza, Orban said he was happy to stay with Gent for now. He certainly has no interest in moving to Saudi Arabia.

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“I’m still too young for there, I want to experience football to the fullest – playing in a stadium with three supporters is not for me.”

He admitted, though, that his ambition is to one day play in England. But possibly not at a certain north London club.

“My ultimate dream is to play in the Premier League. Manchester United, Liverpool, Manchester City. Only Arsenal I don’t like – it’s like they don’t want to win titles. I want to go somewhere where they do.” Oooh.

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Word of mouth

“It’ll be an achievement if we can stay up with the group of players that we’ve got.” – Leicester gaffer Dean Smith working hard on boosting his lads’ confidence as they continue their battle against relegation.

“They are like traffic wardens, referees – you can’t speak to them.” – Joey Barton on his latest run-in with an official, for which he has been fined £3,000 and banned from his Bristol Rovers side’s first three games next season.

“I am ashamed of the level of certain sports journalism. My eight-year-old son would give much more intelligent opinions. Correction: my five-year-old son. But only because the 18-month-old girl still doesn’t speak.” – Katia Ancelotti rather excellently defending her dad Carlo from a press onslaught after Real Madrid’s Champions League exit.

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QUOTE

“If you only watch football highlights, you are a viewer, not a fan. It’s like living with your wife only on Saturday nights – that is not a marriage.”

Newly appointed Uruguay coach Marcelo Bielsa. Match of the Day devotees? That’s you told.

NUMBER: 45

The percentage increase in the sale of y-fronts at English chain TOFS - and they’re crediting Erling Haaland after he was photographed in a pair after City beat Arsenal. All he does is win.

Gloves off for Martial’s critics

It’s closing in on eight years now that Anthony Martial has been frustrating the living daylights out of Manchester United managers, the lad evidently having an abundance of talent, but possibly not an attitude to match. Although Tim Sherwood was a bit harsh when he said, “he just annoys me looking at him, his miserable face”.

To think when they sold him, Monaco actually put a clause in the transfer that would guarantee them an extra €8m if he won the Ballon d’Or.

So, what’s gone wrong? United old boy Paul Parker has, well, a unique theory, in a gloves-off kind of way.

“Martial comes out and wears gloves. I’m not saying that we are the warmest country in the world, but come on . . . it’s May. If you walked on the street with gloves now, people would look at you oddly. Him wearing gloves is an indication that there is something wrong with him. His performances fit someone who would wear gloves in May on a football pitch.”

Mystery, eh, solved.

More word of mouth

“Her name is Win. We all love winning and Win needs a lot of love . . . I found this dog was the perfect representative of who we are right now.” – Mikel Arteta on the introduction of a chocolate Labrador to the club’s training ground. Insert your own gag here.

“Do they think we’re ***king cavemen over here? That’s the stuff you’re dealing with.” – Damien Duff on a sports scientist with an English club asking a member of his Shelbourne staff if they had GPS tracking in Ireland. Wait til he hears we have electricity too, it’ll blow his mind.

“I do fear for our life, as an old timer, with social media and what it’s bringing to the world. And AI. For me it’s not a great future with what we’re doing with the world and climate change.” – As if Big Sam Allardyce hadn’t enough to be worrying about at Leeds.

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan is a sports writer with The Irish Times