Golf: Some Golf Masters managers would frighten you with the intensity with which they play the game.
Long before the season even starts they are tracking the form on both sides of the Atlantic with a view to picking their teams. When they do make their selections, they record them on spreadsheets, which are updated weekly, and at the drop of a hat they can tell exactly how they stand.
They spend as much time agonising over Tiger Woods's schedule as he does himself; they have sleepless nights fretting about transfers; they have the teletext on by 11 o'clock on a Thursday morning to check the early leaders in European events; and they salivate at the mere thought of slipping on a Cutter and Buck windcheater.
Then there are the Dermot Dohertys of this world. They stick in half a dozen teams at the start of the season, scrawl them on the back of a business card, see that they don't figure in the first few weeks, barely know how to make a transfer, and promptly forget about the whole thing. Until, out of the blue, they get a phone call from Tour headquarters to inform them that they have won a weekly prize of a fourball at the K-Club.
Gosh, are they suddenly interested again? You bet they are. And why not when a fourball at the K-Club would ordinarily set them back €1,100? Even though his father is a K-Club member and he has played the course several times, Dermot was delighted with the efforts of Derm's Army. Thanks to them he will be able to treat three friends to a game at the future Ryder Cup venue and perhaps become our first weekly winner to have access to the Members' Locker Room.
The members of Derm's Army can't all be said to be pulling their weight. Major (winner) Fred Couples - injured, zero earnings. Privates Spike McRoy and KJ Choi - missing in action, zero earnings. Thankfully, they found a true leader in Rory Sabbatini, who conquered the Capital Open for €100,000, with Duffy Waldorf in close pursuit, and in Europe Ian Poulter and Darren Clarke made substantial gains in the British Masters.
It all totalled up to €300,000 and a narrow victory over Eamonn Clancy's Team Manhattan. It is one thing to win the battle, quite another to win the war, and there are 781 teams ahead of Derm's Army on our overall leaderboard. Pat Mullarkey's Tiger Cubs remain tops and their lead is now approaching €100K after David Gorman's Mary endured a pitiful week, ranking 5,213th with earnings of just €73,821.
That's the kind of nugget of information that gets our more intense managers poring over results trying to figure out the composition of Gorman's selection. Good luck to them. They would be far better off just enjoying this week's action. It's all quiet on the European front, but course conditions will be tough for those seeking the double money on offer at the US Open.
