Open-armed welcomes for the new Governor of Massachusetts and a place on Putin’s naughty list

It is our sad duty to break the news to Michael Healy-Rae that the new Governor of Massachusetts will not be hotfooting it to Co Kerry any time soon.

When Maura Healey was elected the Bay State’s first female and America’s first openly lesbian governor, Deputy Healey-Rae was out of the traps with his warmest congratulations and an invitation to visit the Kingdom.

There would be the mightiest of mighty welcomes on the mat.

The delighted TD claimed Maura as a daughter of Kerry, citing the fact that her grandfather was born in Healyraeville, or Kilgarvan, as it is also known. “I will take her to see where her people are buried,” declared Michael, overjoyed that the family had finally made the big breakthrough in US politics.

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However, Governor Healey has a rich Irish ancestry – with family connections in Cork, Galway and Roscommon too. When our story about the Healy-Raes’ plan to roll out the red carpet for the new governor appeared last week, the Roscommon/Galway wing of the clan swiftly moved to correct the record.

Former Oireachtas staffer Alan Harney was in touch on behalf of Maura’s cousins to claim the winning Democratic candidate and her family for Ballinasloe.

Before the pandemic, the former Massachusetts attorney general was a regular visitor to these shores. Her mother, Tracy, keeps in touch with her relatives on the Roscommon side of Ballinasloe in Creagh and Taughmaconnell and is particularly close to Kitty Duke and her family. Tracy and her husband, Edward, Maura and her siblings were last over for a family wedding in 2018.

Neighbour Alan Harney, who has since moved on from working in Leinster House and is now a trainee solicitor, is just back from Boston where he was volunteering on the final two weeks of the Healey campaign.

“It was a great experience,” he told us. “The scale of the election was so much bigger than what we have here. But for all that, the mechanism of campaigning is no different from what we do here. The knocking on doors and the walkabouts still have to done.” He said he got mainly positive responses from people he canvassed and put some of that down to the area’s huge Irish community.

Alan said they didn’t have to wait long on election night for the result. Within 15 minutes of the polls closing, the win was called for Maura Healey.

Her many relatives on the Roscommon side of Ballinasloe are looking forward to welcoming back their cousin, the Governor, when time permits.

And who knows, she might even tip down to Kerry for a quick visit.

Politically, it wouldn’t do her any harm at all.

Mick Barry of People Before Profit likes a good story. It must be the journalistic training.

Everyone was wondering what the punchline was going to be when the Cork North Central Socialist asked the Cork South Central Taoiseach a Dáil question on Wednesday.

“Taoiseach, you’re at the cinema,” he began, as Richard Boyd Barrett furrowed his brow in the adjoining seat. “The lights go down, the ads start up. Now, the audience is going to groan at one of the ads. Which ad is it going to be?”

We were agog. Even the Taoiseach looked interested.

“I bet ya it’s the one that ends with the words “This ad was brought to you by the Government of Ireland.”

Right so. And?

“And I put it to you that when the punter goes to the cinema or switches on the television, they should be able to watch the movie or the TV show without having to swallow a dose of Government propaganda,” said Mick, arguing that these adverts could prove to be counterproductive, particularly from the point of view of public health, if the person listening to them “strongly dislikes the Government and its policy”. In this situation they might be inclined to ignore the advice when told it’s from the Government of Ireland.

“So I’ll ask you, do you agree with points that I’m making here and do you agree that it’s high time for Big Brother to go and take a bit of a hike on this issue and the Government to decide to lay off on the propaganda?”

Micheál smiled wistfully.

“I’d love to be at the cinema. I haven’t been at the cinema for quite some time. And I missed the Cork Film Festival this year, for the first time in a long time, so busy was I,” said Micheál, feeling sorry for himself. As for the Government-sponsored ads, some people like them and some people just want the film to start.

And then he told a funny story.

He went to see the premiere of Michael Collins in the Capitol in Cork a good few years back “and a rather innovative PR adviser to the Fianna Fáil party at the time decided to put advertisements across about getting tough with the drug lords. And, lo and behold, at the end of it, to the full audience: “this ad is being brought to you by Fianna Fáil”.

Or “advertizmints”, as Micheál calls them.

“And there was a collective groan in the audience waiting for the Michael Collins premiere to come on.”

His anecdote went down very well. The image of an auditorium stuffed with outraged Cork Blueshirts spluttering into their popcorn would have brought the house down had there been more than half a dozen people in the chamber.

You had to be there.

Meanwhile, the Taoiseach’s schedule is causing some hilarity in Government circles as Coalition politicians notice how he has upped his public engagements in recent weeks.

“He’s trying to pack as much in as possible before he hands over to Leo Varadkar next month,” said a Coalition backbencher. “He was in the new children’s hospital on Thursday making announcements and was photographed in the middle of a building site. Sure the place isn’t fully built yet.”

He was in Co Louth on Friday making an announcement about the proposed Narrow Water Bridge, photographed looking over the sea and holding a mock-up painting of what the finished job will look like.

Where’s Micheál?

It’s hard to keep up these days.

The mortifying rush by politicians to proclaim their inclusion on Russia’s risible blacklist of impertinent politicians elevated the art of the humblebrag to new heights his week.

Their thrilled neediness was wonderfully cringetastic. Only matched by the desolation of their party colleagues inexplicably left out of the loop.

How to pick a winner from the onslaught of breathless social media announcements?

Step forward Cathal Crowe, Fianna Fáil TD for Clare.

Perhaps mindful that his constituency rival, Senator Timmy Dooley, would most likely make ambassador Fibalot’s List following his high-profile fact-finding trip to Ukraine, Cathal decided to get his retaliation in first on Wednesday evening, before the identity of the politicians chosen to sit on Vlad’s naughty step was released.

“Don’t think I’m on the list of 52 Irish politicians who have been ‘blacklisted’ by the Russian government today... If I was I’d consider the ban a ‘badge of honour’. I have no desire to visit a country ruled by a Hitleresque dictator. Slava Ukraine!” he plaintively tweeted.

Sure enough, Timmy made Fibalot’s List. We know because Timmy immediately tweeted the news, suitably outraged.

And then it was Thursday and, mirabile dictu, it transpired Cathal was on the list after all.

“The Department of Foreign Affairs phoned me a short while ago to inform me that I’m now officially on the Kremlin’s ‘blacklist’ of politicians to be sanctioned. It’s a badge of honour and it will only serve to further strengthen my resolve to support Ukraine and her citizens,” crowed Crowe.

It brings to mind the Dad’s Army episode when the captured U-boat captain is making a list of people who will be brought to account after Germany wins the war. He tells the insolent young private he is taking down his name.

“What is it?”

And Captain Mainwaring shouts: “Don’t tell him, Pike!”

Our second favourite is from Fianna Fáil Senator, Fiona O’Loughlin, also thrilled to make this makey-uppy inventory. She announced she had the call from the Department of Foreign Affairs. “Hadn’t been planning on visiting Russia any time soon. Who would? Now no choice.”

Brave Fiona includes a very nice selfie of herself in a lovely magenta dress although, judging by the background, she appears to be hiding in a wardrobe.

Seán Haughey confirmed his inclusion. “I will continue to speak out against Russia’s illegal and immoral invasion of Ukraine.” A worrying development for warmonger Putin.

The rush to pin a badge of honour on themselves was largely Fianna Fáil led. Fine Gael was far more restrained. Brendan Griffin put up a picture of Fr Ted’s annoying Fr Noel Furlong (Graham Norton) with the quote “I’m putting you on my list of enemies.”

Meanwhile, Independent Senator Rear-Admiral Gerry Cruaghwell was reportedly “over the moon” in Leinster House on Friday having made what he disparagingly called “The Distinguished Order of the BBP” (Banned By Putin).

And a mystified Micheal Ring told us he hasn’t the foggiest idea why he made the list. “I thought I’d be the last person in the world to be on it. But let me tell you this: If I had Simon Coveney’s job, I’d have that embassy in Orwell Road closed down and taken out of Ireland. And let me say this to Vladimir Putin: You’re not welcome in Westport or Mayo. You’re banned.”

In a welcome change from the pre-Christmas deluge of political memoirs and biographies, two former Labour activists launched a new political quiz book on Thursday night in the RDS.

And if you want to test your brain to the limit and probably drive yourself mad in the process, then the Ultimate Politics and History Quiz by William Scally and Tim Bourke is just the ticket.

It is said about Joyce’s Ulysses that understanding it requires, at a minimum, a classical education with a special knowledge of Greek mythology, a deep understanding of the Parnell split, an intimate knowledge of the geography of Dublin and close familiarity with the Dubilin accent.

This fiendish puzzler requires familiarity with a similarly wide range of subjects. It goes without saying that a knowledge of Irish and international politics is vital, not to mention literature, geography and a smattering of religion. But such knowledge on its own is not enough. The perverse minds of Bourke and Scally have come up with puns and anagrams that will tax the most dedicated political anoraks.

Here’s question 109 as a teaser. It’s one of the easier ones: “Ironically, many thought he fell short (3,4,6).” Think 100 years ago and the Civil War and you should get it. Just as well the answers are provided at the back of the book so you won’t have to go to your grave wondering what some of them are. Or better still, read them on the sly, then confound your friends with your brilliance.

In all there are 500 questions and to make the quiz reasonably accessible there are a few on every page that should be doable for most people with an interest in politics or history. Some are more challenging and some are ridiculously impossible.

Still, there is a great thrill to be had from teasing out some of the more obscure clues and realising that you actually know more than you thought you did. Indeed. It must be a great feeling.

Willie Scally is an economist by trade (possessed of a mischievous sense of humour) who was a key Labour Party government adviser in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s. It was not only Labour leaders from Brendan Corish to Dick Spring and Ruairí Quinn who respected his sage advice but Coalition colleagues in Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil and numerous senior civil servants along the way.

Tim Bourke was also a Labour Party activist in Dún Laoghaire when he developed a friendship with Scally. He has suffered bad health in recent years and is now confined to a wheelchair. As one friend said at the launch: “He may not be 100 per cent physically but mentally he is 120 per cent.” This book proves it.

The Ultimate Politics and History Quiz by William Scally and Tim Bourke, Tara Press.