Drapier: Drapier can't wait for the return of the Dáil next week. The prospect of seeing his friends in Cabinet being savaged promises a revival of old-style controversial politics. The long, hot summer set the tone. The honeymoon was over before That Wedding, but the Gallic spectacle of this Celtic folie de grandeur was too much for the common cumainn.
"Low standards in high places" was how George Colley once referred to his rival, C.J. Haughey. But Haughey had some sense of class even if he got Des Traynor to persuade other people to pay for it. By contrast, Colley's constituency colleague, Bertie Ahern, could not claim the former, and Hello! magazine coughed up for the latter.
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The spin doctors in Government buildings must be pleased with young Micheál Martin from Cork South Central, whose righteous campaign against smoking in pubs has diverted the nation's attention away from the permanent crisis in the health services. This phoney war was given an additional puff by the great inhaler, the Minister for the Environment, Martin Cullen, who said that, while he was against the ban, he would nevertheless support it.
The minor constitutional matter of collective responsibility, not to mention political solidarity seems to drift above him. But then political loyalty would not be his strong card, as his former party leader, Mary Harney will tell you.
What have the Progressive Democrats and the Fianna Fáilers got against Community Employment. After all, there are only a few thousand jobs involved out of more than 1.7 million people currently at work. Yet their political prejudices are such that they are determined to terminate funding that will shut down essential local services such as crèches, meals on wheels, care for the elderly and community centres.
The full impact of the withdrawal of the services will be revealed in time for the wrath of the dispossessed communities to express themselves in the June elections.
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Meanwhile the Minister for Justice, Michael McDowell, is setting himself up as a target from every angle, left, right and centre. Sadly, Drapier has seen it before. Politicians who campaigned and shouted, on the sidelines, inside and outside the House, and when they finally arrive behind the Minister's desk they think the new job is like a continuation of the old one.
Poor Michael is unable to replace the public press release with private persuasion. He has set off so many legislative hares in his already overworked and under-resourced Department that none will ever be politically caught and served up as nourishing legislation. He has announced approximately 45 pieces of legislation. How many Bills has he succeeded in getting through the Houses of the Oireachtas since his appointment as Minister for Justice?
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Drapier thinks that Enda Kenny would be better off climbing Croagh Patrick at home than traipsing up Kilimanjaro in Africa for charity. If he does not pull his front bench together into a tight, fit and hungry political team, then Fine Gael itself could become a charity.
He has some good talent who, if they sharpen their political act and hunt in packs, like the German U-boats of old, could easily sink a few of this lumbering Fianna Fáil cabinet convoy. But he has to exercise discipline as well as leadership, and that means persuading young tigers like John Deasy to realise that the enemy is on the other side of the Chamber and not behind him.
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The Rabbitte had a go at the Bull O'Donoghue, the Minister for Sports, Tourism and sometimes the Arts. O'Donoghue, now languishing in the pastures of soft politics, after his disastrous tenure in Justice, is not unlike his successor, McDowell, believing that vituperative personal comment, uttered with a ministerial imprimatur, is a cloak for an inept departmental performance.
But the same Rabbitte cannot allow himself or his colleagues to take comfort in their rise in the confusing public opinion polls. The modest gains still leave them far out from landing safely on the shores of Office.
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There used to be a song about the Men Behind the Wire, and the parliamentary wing of the Provisional IRA, Sinn Féin, has added the possibility of a new dimension that must have brought a wry smile to the faces of those government advisers desperately working to rescue the Peace Process.
The spectacle of TDs in front of the camera having their smiling photographs taken beside the convicted killers of Garda Jerry McCabe is a clear reminder of how far the Movement has yet to travel.
It is a wonder that with all the marvels of digital cameras they did not make space, in the picture, for the Colombia Three as well. Drapier wonders how this will be explained, in due course, when Fianna Fáil and Sinn Féin form a future coalition government.
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Wanting to spend more time with the family has become a clichéd phrase for political cover by many politicians. Young Seán Haughey was very unwise to use it after he had tested the waters and decided that his southside colleague, Eoin Ryan, would heavily outgun him in the run-up to next June's European elections.
Young Seán's political frustration was broadcast to the nation when he described himself as having reached the dizzy heights of being a vice-chairman of the Oireachtas Committee after 20 years in the House.
Did Drapier detect a plea for promotion to the Boss's former chief whip? If so it clearly fell on deaf ears. The private opinion polls that the old pros around Kinsealy would have taken on behalf of the young squire would no doubt have shown a clear lead in favour of Ryan. When those figures were revealed, it appears that young Haughey realised that his wife was expecting their fourth child, hence the cover of the cliché.
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Finally, Drapier warns his colleagues and friends to be prepared for claims from the Government that it is preoccupied with Ireland's forthcoming responsibilities with the Presidency of the European Union for the first six months of next year. Domestic issues will have to take a back seat.
Drapier does not think that this is going to wash. The domestic agenda is going to come to political boiling point at the same time. Thankfully, for the time being, the other crowd have not got their act together, or so it seems.