Your questions answered by Education Correspondent Kathryn Holmquist
The teacher (in first class) has told us that our son is "slow" and "immature". She wasn't able to be any more specific. We're in a panic over this. It's the first we've heard that our son isn't keeping up with the rest of the class. We don't know what to do. When we asked the teacher what she advised, she didn't offer anything constructive.
Being told that your child is slow isn't good enough. And of course he is "immature" - all children are. Either your son has a learning disability of some kind or he doesn't and you need to find out - and quickly.
Teachers are normally extremely good at spotting these problems and in a properly run school, your son should be getting the help that he needs. The school should immediately be battling to get your son a psychological assessment, with a view to getting your son resource teaching, if required.
Waiting lists for assessment are a barrier, but a principal who is willing to stage a campaign for an early appointment on your son's behalf can make all the difference. To be sure that all is well with your son's physical health, you should bring him to see the GP. Your GP could, for example, refer your son to a paediatrician with an interest in Attention Deficit Disorder and other brain disorders, or to a psychologist able to diagnose learning problems such as dyslexia. Your GP can refer you to your local children's psychological service - but again, waiting lists are a problem. You have a struggle ahead.
My daughter has just started her Leaving Cert year and already we're having rows over her social life. She's a good girl and her friends are lovely, but their weekend fun starts after school on Friday, continues with shopping in town all day Saturday, then goes on into Saturday night. We're lucky if we see her on Sunday. They're not drinking or doing drugs - I'm just worried that she's not getting into an appropriate study pattern.
It can be difficult to resist the social enthusiasm of a teenage girl and her group of equally enthusiastic friends. She's not doing anything wrong, that's true, but maybe you're being conned slightly. You don't need to be grateful that she's not doing drugs and not drinking because this behaviour is normal and what should be expected. So could it be that she's using the fact that she could be doing these things as a subtle threat?
Your daughter's social life, this year, should consist of one night out on Friday or Saturday and home by midnight, at the latest. She should be studying for a few hours on Saturday and Sunday. Try writing out a contract with her: if she does the studying, she gets the privileges - money for her night out, clothes, etc. Otherwise, no dice.
e-mail your questions to kholmquist@irish-times.ie
