Alcohol consumption/New guide for parents: A new guide for parents will help you steer your children towards a balanced use of alcohol, writes Sylvia Thompson

Ask any Irish parent about their biggest fears for their children growing up today and the abuse of alcohol will be right up there in the top three.

Over the last 20 years, the average age at which people started to drink alcohol has reduced from 15 to 13 years. Regular drinking also begins at an earlier age and over half of secondary school students spend "quite a lot" or "a lot" of their income on going out, according to a survey of Junior Certificate and senior-cycle students.

Parents often throw their hands up in the air, blaming "society" (peer pressure, clubbing culture, teenagers with too much money) for the growing problem of alcohol abuse among young people. Although terrified of the risk of their teenage sons getting into alcohol-fuelled fights and/or their teenage daughters having unprotected sex following too much drinking, they feel helpless. However, parents have a huge influence on whether their children will abuse alcohol or not and careful and consistent handling of the issues can go a long way to protecting them, according to an excellent new booklet, Alcohol - a Guide for Parents by Mark Morgan and Therese Hegarty.

Parental example is important, according to Morgan, a psychologist with an expertise in substance abuse prevention and Hegarty, a primary school teacher for 24 years who now works as a therapist and facilitator for teachers. The free booklet is published by Mature Enjoyment of Alcohol in Society (MEAS), a drinks industry initiative to combat alcohol misuse and abuse.

Morgan and Hegarty say that parents who drink moderately have children whose use of alcohol is quite different to the children of those whose drinking is problematic. However, they also point out that parents who abstain from alcohol won't necessarily have children who are abstinent or temperate drinkers, just as children of heavy drinkers won't necessarily become heavy drinkers themselves. The key is to discuss openly the harmful aspects of alcohol - losing control, taking risks and wasting money. And, if there is a problem drinker in the family, don't ignore it, talk about it.

Extreme reactions to discovering that your teenager has been drinking will be counterproductive, according to Morgan and Hegarty. Pretending to be indifferent is just as useless as taking a very strict and authoritarian stance. Again, talking is the key. Research has shown that children who feel loved and valued are less likely to abuse alcohol, so building up a child's self-esteem from an early age is also hugely important. Only then can children learn to think for themselves and resist peer pressure when they need to.

Peer pressure is a factor and young people who drink regularly are likely to have friends who drink, while those who don't are likely to have friends who don't drink. Best friends, however, are the ones who influence most. Parents can help here by getting to know their children's best friends and making them feel welcome in their home.

Having a few clear house rules and explaining the values behind them helps children to understand boundaries. Morgan and Hegarty say that a simple rule about telling those at home where you are going and what time you will be home is a great protection. Parents can also help prevent their children from becoming vulnerable to peer pressure by being alert to any changes going on with friends or teachers and being available to chat.

Boredom is, according to Morgan and Hegarty, one of the greatest causes of alcohol abuse, so it follows that young people who lead busy interesting lives will be less likely to drink too much. They reiterate some strategies to prevent teenagers getting involved in a pattern of drinking too much. These include encouraging commitment at school - study, sport or other activities, finding out about the school's policies on alcohol (partnership between parents and schools is likely to bring about a better outcome than any effort made by either one on their own) and encouraging children to read or take up a hobby that doesn't involve drink.

• Alcohol - A Parents' Guide and a fact sheet about alcohol in Ireland are available free from MEAS (Mature Enjoyment of Alcohol in Society Ltd), Merrion House, 1-3 Fitzwilliam St Lower, Dublin Tel: (01) 611 4811. email: info@meas.ie. It can be downloaded from www.meas.ie