`Could you please tell me how many girls have accepted commerce in UCG?" "What do you want to know that for?" "We are taking a house in Galway, and I want some girls to share the expenses!!"

There are many such lighter moments to phone-ins. They are not all about crystal-gazing as to whether the points will go up or down. First of all, a word to mothers. This year you were terrific. Over 96 per cent of calls came from you. The fact that your sons/ daughters were racking up the snores upstairs did not deter you from trying to get through and to have your queries answered.

It continues to amaze how so many young people are "missing" when some very important life decisions are being made on their behalf.

Before the cut-off points are announced, the queries run something like this: "I will be on my own here to-morrow so could you give me a quick rundown on the system?"

Once this is achieved, the conversation takes a turn in the direction of "we are not expecting much from him. We spent a lot of money getting him to repeat. But, coming from an all-boys school, he discovered girls and Stephen's Green." Or something like: "We fear the worst."

When the cut-off points are announced, the most disturbing calls come from those who have got their first choice, but are no longer interested in taking up the place.

It is simply baffling how students, who have until July 1st to change their minds, suddenly decide that they will not take their first preference. In this category are a number of students who, instead of being delighted by getting their third choice, still hanker after their fourth choice! Then there are those who do so much better than they had hoped for, and as a consequence they have not included courses for which they now qualify. So much for the advice drummed into their ears all year: "Choose your courses in genuine order of preference - not on last year's points." Another group is those who repeat their Leaving Certificate but forget to tell the CAO. You don't believe it?

Well, they form a significant number of those who phone in wondering why they have the points but have not got any offer.

The CAO send all the information they have about them on computer for checking in May. It takes a few minutes, but ignoring it may involve a long trip to Galway with a large lunch of "humble pie". But the scenario gets even more absurd. There are those who actually lose their offer notice. There are those who give it to Grannie to post, and she discovers it in her bag two days after the closing date! Some bright sparks put a 32p stamp where the bank stamp is supposed to go on the offer notice!

A goodly number cannot make up their minds about accepting an offer, and so on the final day they make the trip to Galway only to be caught up in evening traffic and arrive at the CAO office after the 5.15 p.m. deadline. It soon dawns on them that there is nobody peeping out the keyhole to let in latecomers!

However, there are many people for whom one feels a great deal of genuine sympathy. How do you console a student with some 450 points and everything she is interested in is just 10 points beyond that?

What do you say to someone with 600 points caught on random selection for Actuarial Studies?

We know from experience that mothers do most of the worrying. But there is a time when the apron strings must be loosened and big Charlie must be let off on his own down to Carlow or Waterford.

"But how will I keep an eye on him?"

Unfortunately, she may have a point if the Charlies of this world cannot come to the phone to ask questions about their own futures.

Every year we hear stories of students filling in forms with such howlers as answering the question concerning which school they attended and from when to when by stating: St Cuthbert's Academy from 9.00 a.m. to 4.00 p.m.

Unfortunately each year brings its own corkers. But tragically many of them cause a loss of a place.

Vivian Cassells is a guidance counsellor in Oatlands College, Stillorgan, Co Dublin