After a slightly longer than normal hospital sojourn, Grandchild Number Two finally arrived. And, as previously predicted, yet another girl. She was a little premature, and so is unfathomably tiny and scrunched up and doesn’t do much crying. Instead, she makes a kind of gentle warbling sound as she cuddles in to whoever is holding her. Which is a good sign.
She was, in part, responsible for the duration of the hospital stay as she didn’t seem to be in any great hurry to join the rest of us; and already there’s speculation that this might be an indicator of the personality that will emerge. This might be a bad sign. She might be one of those individuals who are so laid back they never turn up for anything on time, and can’t understand why anyone would have a problem with that. On the other hand, there were people who could tell – just by looking at her – that she would be even more formidable than her older sister (a big claim) or that she would be a unit. Whatever that means.
[ As our family grows, full wine glasses keep appearing as if by magicOpens in new window ]
Even before the baby was born, Daughter Number One had to endure all sorts of cast-iron predictions based on the amount of movement, the sort of movement and the shape of her bump; all of which were indicators of gender, temperament or sporting ability.
Of course, this is a combination of wishful thinking and a bit of harmless fun: the sort of thing nobody in their right mind takes seriously, like astrology or completion dates for the national children’s hospital. And anyway, there are far more reliable methods for predicting how Granddaughter Number Two’s life might pan out.
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Geopolitical factors will no doubt shape the world she grows up in. Climate change may or may not be arrested sufficiently. Donald Trump might proclaim himself to be a living god. But even in those circumstances, she will still have relative advantages over most other kids around the world.
She hasn’t been born into poverty or disadvantage. She’s not in danger of succumbing to an avoidable disease. She has two parents, both whom will work hard to give her a comfortable life, to make sure she’s healthy, and will be able to pay for as much education as she wants. Those factors alone – which could be described as middle-class values, but also as blind luck – will profoundly influence how she will view the potentialities of her life. No possibility will seem shut off.
Globally, about 380,000 babies arrived on the same day as Granddaughter Number Two. A fifth were born into poverty and will probably remain there. Many will die young from violence or neglect or the lack of medical care. If they make it to adulthood, the possibilities for their life will be highly restricted by circumstances that existed long before they came into the world.
[ Watching our daughter discover she’s good at something is a great joyOpens in new window ]
On Daughter Number One’s second day in hospital, a woman arrived on the maternity ward who was loudly agitated. The endlessly patient nurses tried to calm her, to coax her into sitting down. They pulled a privacy curtain around her bed: but of course, that didn’t prevent everyone on the ward from hearing what she said. That morning, she told them, she had smoked heroin. Within a few hours, they had moved her to another part of the hospital.
Babies born to heroin users are smaller, frailer and can go on to develop a range of developmental disorders. And at the moment of their birth, they are immediately in withdrawal. The symptoms of this can last months and cause seizures. I’ve heard midwives say that these babies have a particular cry: one that is so harrowing, it’s almost impossible to forget. That other baby will have almost none of Granddaughter Number Two’s advantages. The disadvantages may dog them for years. Or forever. The lives of some children can seem over even before they’ve begun.
