Education

‘You’re bordering on nerdy. That’s fine’: A letter to my 17-year-old self

Emmet O’Reilly graduated from UCD almost 30 years ago. His reflections will chime with a younger generation moving to college for the first time

Students on UCD campus in Belfield. Photograph: Frank Miller

Emmet O'Reilly
Tue Sep 13 2022 - 00:00

Dear Emmet.

Look left. Look right. You see 300 boys and girls, men and women, who will be your classmates in University College Dublin for the next three years. To you, they all look older, more mature, more relaxed in their new surroundings.

What you don’t know is that most of them, in fact, are experiencing the same feelings you have – nervous, not believing they’re good enough for this course, very few friends, like baby giraffe trying to stand for the first time! You’re not the only one with those feelings. Remember that every single day.

You’re bordering on nerdy. You’re trying to fit in, but you feel more comfortable with those that, on the face of it, take the course more seriously. That’s fine. At this moment, that’s your tribe. It’s okay to be studious and, whilst you think the opposite sex don’t find such traits attractive, that’s where you’re wrong. Don’t make apologies for taking your course seriously.

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On the flip side, push yourself to attend what you perceive as awkward social events such as class nights out, the commerce ball, commerce day, etc.

Memories of college should be a healthy blend of education and entertainment – I know you’ll find it difficult to embrace these social events, but, trust me, with the help of a couple of drinks, you’ll enjoy them and will make lifelong friends as part of the process.

Back yourself at all times. Those that, maybe, mock you for heading to the library after lectures will come to realise why you’ve taken that approach and most would love to have your focus, your ability to drive towards your target and ultimately overachieve based on your natural talents. Life is about aptitude and attitude – you’ve got both.

Believe it or not, from shy beginnings to your university education, you will become the glue around which college and post-college friends stay in touch.

At this moment, you think commerce is going to be all about accounting, economics and numbers – it won’t be.

You’ll also be studying topics such as organisational behaviour, marketing, logistics, behavioural science and IT. I know you’ll want to run a mile from these subjects, but walk towards them – you’ll learn so much about what makes people and organisations tick and just allow your emotional quotient to grow to match your natural IQ.

Your mother stood in your shoes only six years ago; she embraced psychology and you’ll embrace it too, sooner than you think. You studied Newman’s writings on a university education in school – it’s not just about the books, let your soul and character be educated too – carpe diem!

Believe it or not, from shy beginnings to your university education, you will become the glue around which college and post-college friends stay in touch. You will be the organiser-in-chief of social gatherings, weekends away, dance-offs, simple craic.

As you stand in the UCD arts block, this image of being front and centre of a large group of friends is somebody else, but trust me when I say that you will grow up and away from that shy child to a character that people enjoy being around. Not the comedian in the group, but a genuine person of integrity, honesty and fun.

Yes, that’s you. Just stay the course and you’ll get there.

Your hard work in college will yield the result of a great starting job on your journey to becoming an accountant. I know, I remember when you were 13-years-old, a second year student and you couldn’t grasp debits and credits.

You asked your father for some help – he said something along the lines of “using the bank as the centre for all transactions” and, 30 minutes later, you told him to leave the room, as you “had it”.

From that day you had a singular goal of becoming an accountant. You’ll work hard, you’ll party hard and, from the first day of that job, you’ll realise that there are oodles of people just like you.

You’ll fit in like hand in glove and your real character will come to the fore, with no fear of standing out for your opinions, your intelligence, your personality. As I said before, just wait for it, it’s coming.

For the past four or five years, you’ve had the odd girlfriend, but the whole girl thing just isn’t quite clicking for you. Again, it’ll all come in time. You’ll figure it out. Patience is a virtue and wait till you meet your future wife, your soul mate, the one for you – you’ll fall big time, but what a journey it will be.

When you go home this evening after your first trip into UCD, look in the mirror. You’ll see a fresh-faced, diminutive and smiley character.

Yes, you look a little bit on the young side, you can’t get a card to get into the UCD bar, but those boyish looks will stick with you, as will your youthful spirit. Others looking at you see a happy, bright and decent person – sure, isn’t your nickname Smiley O’Reilly!

Finally, Emmet, a fantastic life awaits you. Soak it in, maybe play another game of pool, maybe have another pint, maybe chat to another classmate, and wait for the rewards to flood in – they’re coming, believe me.”

Emmet O’Reilly is a UCD commerce graduate (1993)

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