No child should come away from school sports day feeling worse about themselves

Jen Hogan: School is for all children, and sports day must be too – an occasion that can be enjoyed by all

Sports day is 'too competitive', according to one parent. Photograph: Getty Images
Sports day is 'too competitive', according to one parent. Photograph: Getty Images

The three-legged race was my thing. I perfected it with a friend, on the green near my house. I realised that speed was not key to winning that particular race. Well, not when lots of the others hadn’t yet worked out that having a partner whose movement and stride matched yours was the most important thing.

Summer of Family: This summer, parents are looking for tips, advice and information on how to help their children thrive during the holiday months. You can read all about it at irishtimes.com/health/your-family
Summer of Family: This summer, parents are looking for tips, advice and information on how to help their children thrive during the holiday months. You can read all about it at irishtimes.com/health/your-family

In their eagerness to take off quickly from the start line, the class athletes often prioritised speed over partner co-ordination, leaving those of us who’d planned our strategy more carefully, with a real chance of winning a medal.

And it was all about the medal. Never for one second think it was anything else. Whether your sports day was considered a good day or not, depended on where you came in your races. Or whether your efforts and ability had left you feeling upset or even humiliated. There were those children we knew who always came last. You’d hope to be in the original heat with them as the races began. At least then you were certain, worst-case scenario, that you wouldn’t be last.

Everyone remembers the kids who came last.

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They probably remember it best – because no one in the schoolyard let them forget it.

Anyway, thank God for the three-legged race. It spared my embarrassment and stopped me from feeling I’d let my parents down on more than one occasion. I wanted them to be proud of me. And I felt every bit of pressure as they stood watching me race. What if they thought I wasn’t good enough at sports? I already thought I wasn’t good enough at sports.

We’re at that stage of the academic year where sports days are looming for primary school children. Several of their teenage counterparts are making the ultimate sacrifice and enduring the State exams so that we might enjoy a few days of Leaving Cert weather – aka the Irish summer.

There is much excitement, no doubt, and planning too. In schools obviously, but also on the part of parents. Because sports day, unless it’s done without parents present, is another day – and there are already a lot of others – that parents need to juggle with work. That’s something parents are often too afraid to mention, lest they be accused of not being utterly devoted to their children. Or asked why they bothered having them.

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But let us not become distracted by the triviality of parents seeking more days off work when they’ve already had to factor in an extra two days off this academic year alone with the closing of some schools due to their use as polling stations. Because what’s really important about children’s sports days is that they must be inclusive.

“As a mum of a child who’s not sporty, it’s a hard day. A lot of build-up and pressure,” one parent described to me when I asked parents for their thoughts on sports days. Another believed that they were occasions with a consequence of “highlighting children with poor gross motor skills”.

One parent questioned why “we don’t have whole school drama, drawing or music days. For some kids it’s [sports day] torture”.

Sports day is “too competitive”, another claimed, adding that it should just be an “elite runners’ competition as only they win”.

“Wish they were more team oriented rather than individual. Give everyone a chance,” another replied. “Active fun day, way more inclusive and good craic for all,” answered one. “Good. Children enjoy it. Our school stopped medals over costs this year. No issue,” said another.

I’m a big sports fan, and a particular fan of getting children active, involved in, and enjoying sports. I’m an even bigger fan of keeping children active, involved in and enjoying sports for as long as possible. And for that to happen children need to have positive experiences of sport. And it needs to be fun for everyone. With team games and fun activities that put an emphasis on working with their classmates rather than competing against them, there is an opportunity for real inclusion and a levelling of the playing field.

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No child should come away from sports day feeling even worse about themselves. Or with a certainty that sport is not for them.

And a purported “fun” day should never be one in which parents worry about their children’s vulnerabilities, challenges or difficulties being highlighted before their classmates and others. School is for all children, and sports day must be too. An occasion that can be enjoyed by all children. Not one that becomes an exercise in humiliation, or a source of embarrassment, dread or upset, for some.

You can love competitive sports and still appreciate that school sports day, a day children must be part of – unlike other sporting situations - should be about so much more.