The Mysterious Mr Lagerfeld: It’s a shock when a normal person walks through the door

The star of the Mysterious Mr Lagerfeld (BBC 2, Wednesday, 9pm) is, of course, Choupette, the frosty feline to whom the iconic designer is believed to have bequeathed a chunk of his estimated €450 million fortune.

One reason the white Birman stands out is that many of the people with whom Lagerfeld surrounded himself felt interchangeable. The designer, who died 2019 aged 85, was close to two male models named Brad and Baptiste. They resemble real-life Kens, with the plastic personalities to match. And there was his bodyguard Sebastian, who looks like even more of an over-grown action figure than Brad and Baptiste.

Amidst so much beautiful blandness, Choupette was an irresistible agent of chaos. She adores the spotlight too – at one point, her “nanny” confirms that Choupette “loves the lens”.

He couldn’t stand old people – seeing in their wrinkles and their wisdom reflections of his own mortality

There is a trend in documentary-making away from the traditional show-and-tell. A decade ago, a profile of Karl Lagerfeld would have traced his triumphs in fashion and explained to the viewer why he mattered so much. But ——.

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Lagerfeld was self-created – a provincial German who reinvented himself as the spirit of Chanel (for whom he created the iconic “double c” logo). And he expected those around him to be similarly artificial. He couldn’t stand old people – seeing in their wrinkles and their wisdom reflections of his own mortality. He was also indifferent to sex, and his interest in Brad and Baptiste seemed largely one of aesthetics. He simply wanted to be surrounded by beauty.

There are moments when the Mysterious Mr Lagerfeld feels like the surprise sequel to Zoolander, Ben Stiller’s giddy skewering of high fashion (Lagerfeld hated it). Brad – or is it Baptiste ? – recalls Lagerfeld asking the model to take to a catwalk inspired by Versailles with his three-year-old son in his arms; later we see a fashion show in a forest and another apparently staged down a coal mine. There is a cut to Baptiste wriggles in a bathtub trying on his best “Blue Steel” look.

Amid the razor-edge cheekbones and empty gazes, it’s a shock when a normal person walks through the door. This is Lagerfeld’s niece in Oregon, who recalls her surprise when her uncle insisted that he would design her wedding dress – which was then flown to her by Concorde and arrived the day before the wedding. It was a huge extravagance on the part of Lagerfeld – and his niece doesn’t seem too miffed at being subsequently excluded from his will.

That will is the “mystery” to which Waldman continuously circles back. Who got the dosh? Nobody will confirm or deny – but it seems that the models did well out of Lagerfeld (one agrees that he received “a big percentage” of the estate).

The story is ultimately quite wholesome. Lagerfeld adored his “muses” for their looks; they appreciated his largesse and his kindness. Choupette doesn’t seem much bothered either way. And that is perhaps why she was so important to the designer. In the end, she was the only one who treated him like an equal.

The Mysterious Mr Lagerfeld aired on BBC Two on Wednesday, April 26th.