I'LL TELL YOU what sort of film Outlanderis. It's the sort of film where the "t" in the title is represented by the hilt of a sword.
Do you like the sound of that? Well, I suggest you smash wooden cups of mead together and then empty some of the liquid into your mouth, while allowing the rest to run down the side of your hairy Viking face. Argh! All hail Outlander! Bravely you have defied the efforts of fearsome dragons to send you straight-to- video. Sit thou here and tells us tales of suspicious international co-financing.
What we have here is a kind of science fiction echo of the Beowulfmyth. It's moronic, shouty and features some very uncertain acting, but it also has a certain rugged honesty to it that, for my money, compares favourably with the pomposity of Robert Zemeckis's recent computer- generated version of the story.
The pathologically intense Jim Caviezel, star of The Passion of the Christ, once again essays a saviour from beyond the stratosphere. Here he's an alien who crashlands in ancient Norway following the destruction of his home colony by fire-breathing monsters. Unhappily for both him and the swilling Vikings – led by gruff John Hurt and hopeless Jack Huston – one of the beasties has stowed away on Caviezel's vessel.
Initially the humans are suspicious of our Jim, but, following an act of bravery on his part, they all pour mead over each other’s heads and head off in search of the quasi-dragon.
The film is, of course, rubbish. Hurt is reliably sturdy as the Norse monarch, and Caviezel displays his customary spooky charisma, but the rest of the performances are barely competent, and the special effects appear to have been assembled using a solid-fuel computer of similar vintage to the earthbound protagonists.
Still, it’s honest rubbish with no pretentions to it. Wait for the DVD and watch it with a hogshead of ale and a saddle of reindeer. Argh!
Directed by Howard McCain. Starring James Caviezel, John Hurt, Ron Perlman, Sophia Myles, Jack Huston 15A cert, Cork Omniplex; Cineworld/IMC Dún Laoghaire/Vue, Dublin, 115 min
