Welcome to the Unicorn Kingdom, says Sunak, in fantasy pitch to business

Image of the week: Unicorn in the room

It was “spot the contradiction” time again this week as British prime minister, Rishi Sunak, rocked up to the CEO-packed Business Connect event in north London and declared he was working every day on his government’s five priorities: to halve inflation, grow the economy, reduce debt, cut waiting lists and “stop the boats”.

Billed as a speech in which he would “reboot” his business ties, Sunak – who voted for the UK to leave the EU in the Brexit referendum – valiantly described himself as “unashamedly pro-business”, a verbal assurance that must have brought tons of comfort to those businesses currently struggling with labour shortages, trade barriers and a cost-of-living crisis.

[ UK needs not ‘Brexit opportunities’ minister but a firefighting one ]

As befits a conference aiming to “champion the dynamism of UK businesses to unlock innovation”, Sunak was keen to discuss unicorns, aka privately held tech-based start-ups with a valuation of $1 billion or more.

The UK has created 162 such unicorns, he said, and is so proud of the fact it is currently running an investor-targeting marketing campaign in Silicon Valley in which it declares it is so tech-friendly, it has earned the moniker “Unicorn Kingdom”.

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The name might well stick, if only because unicorns are famous for being purely imaginary – a bit like, for instance, the benefits of Brexit.

In numbers: Poverty UK

81,084

Record number of food parcels distributed in Northern Ireland between April 2022 and March 2023 by the Trussell Trust, the UK’s largest food bank network.

37%

Increase in the number of food parcels given out by the trust across the UK in this period compared to the year before. Almost three million such parcels were distributed, including more than one million to children – a number described by CEO, Emma Revie, as “an awful first”.

8

The charity gave out a food parcel on average once every eight seconds in December. Food banks, said Revie, are designed for short-term emergencies. They’re not meant to be “a lasting solution to hunger and poverty”. And yet ...

Getting to know: Mark Tritton

The former chief executive of bankrupt US retail chain Bed Bath & Beyond is a “passionate merchant with deep expertise across product, retail and operations functions”, according to an endorsement on his LinkedIn page. He also has a surname that is just one surplus “t” away from a well-known shower brand. Alas, neither fact stopped him being ousted from the company last year after a failed turnaround plan.

[ Burberry’s Irish chairman challenges Sunak over ‘spectacular own goal’ UK tourist tax ]

His Bed Bath & Beyond tenure, starting in late 2019, saw profits go down the plughole after he replaced big-name brands with its own higher-margin private labels, alienating customers and contributing to supply chain havoc during the pandemic.

His successor, Sue Gove, hasn’t been able to bring about a reversal in fortunes, it was confirmed earlier this week, meaning Bed Bath & Beyond will soon be selling its final towels and progressing to the great “beyond”, taking thousands more US retail jobs with it. Tritton, meanwhile, was last seen suing the company for failing to honour a severance agreement.

The list: Spotify’s earnings

Swedish audio streamer Spotify’s first-quarter earnings were music to the ears of its investors, with its shares swelling 5 per cent after they were released on Tuesday. But, what did the company actually have to say for itself?

1. User hit: Spotify’s monthly active user total has risen to 515 million, beating both its own and analysts’ forecasts, with the number of premium subscribers increasing 15 per cent to 210 million.

2. Upbeat outlook: The streamer is targeting growth to 530 million users for the current quarter. It wants to reach one billion users by 2030.

3. Revenue miss: Because a lot of subscribers join Spotify on free three-month trials – which tend to be pushed heavily in the run-up to Christmas – the company “doesn’t get revenue right away”, said chief executive, Daniel Ek. As the advertising market was also “choppy”, its €3.04 billion revenue total in the first quarter came in lower than analysts’ estimates.

4. Ever-elusive profit: Spotify, which has never achieved a full-year profit, made an operating loss of €156 million in the first quarter. It anticipates “sequential improvements” this year.

5. Pricing issue: The streamer “would like to raise prices in 2023″, according to Ek. It will only go ahead when “the timing is right”, however – timing being very important in the music business.